Tuesday, July 9, 2013

My Political Domains Are Better Than This Guy's

This guy squats domains: http://www.nationaljournal.com/politics/political-cybersquatter-strikes-again-20130709

But the domains I have for 2016 are better. I have some really good ones. Boy, I wish I could tell you what they are!

UPDATE: Okay, I'll tell you what they are. They include ClintonBiden.com, ClintonCuomo.com, ClintonOMalley.com, ClintonPatrick.com, BidenPatrick.com, Biden-Clinton.com, and, BidenBooker.com, among about 200 others. I have several more good Clinton ones, Biden ones, and ones for dozens of other Democrats and Republicans. If you want to buy one, or buy several of them as a package, email me at jeremypgreen@gmail.com. 


Unfortunately, I'm probably going to keep them a secret this time. But man, I have some great ones. It's too bad articles like this don't realize that search engine optimization is likely to play a role in the domain squatting field for 2016. Remember, my site Santorum-2012.com was the first Google result for "Santorum 2012" throughout the whole primaries season of 2012. I got to attached to the site to try to sell it though, unfortunately.

Rick Santorum with me a few years ago.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

My Line Work And Inking Technique Are Getting Better

As you can see from this cell phone picture, I'm working on a new Swan F. Kennedy cartoon. The proportions are slightly off because of the angle of the photograph. 

My insurance company has finally decided that they need to send me money to replace my broken computer, and even though I think they sent it to the wrong address, I've ordered the replacement laptop anyway and it's on its way. This means I'll be able to work on Feldman the Cat as well as Moodstring again.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Feldman the Cat

Hi, guys! I'm taking a law school exam right now, but I thought I'd take a break to link you to my webcomic, Feldman the Cathttp://feldmanthecat.com/ is the main address, but http://FTheCat.com also works.

There are only about five cartoons up, but you should probably bookmark and Facebook-like the site. I mean, the cartoon on the front page right now is a pretty clever commentary about butts. I hope the metaphors aren't too hard for you to parse!

Here, have an image of me digesting on the floor today. I do this a lot at my friend Kelley's apartment. I was seriously so full.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Kaiser Wilhen

Here, have a chicken character I drew. It actually began as a fake clip art drawing I made for my part of an Animal Law group presentation about the conditions of egg-laying hens and what different labels for eggs mean.

My portion of the project was to compare the U.S.'s minimum standards for the treatment of hens and requirements for labels to the E.U.'s. The gist is that the E.U. is ahead of us in every conceivable way in this area.

If you're eating eggs in the E.U., the hens are treated pretty well. If you're eating eggs in the United States, there's around a 90% chance that they're treated horribly, even if it has some promising label on it like "American Human Society certified". It's depressing. There are only a couple of labels in the United States that actually indicate that the hens are being treated well.

The past couple of weeks have been pretty rough. My sleeping has been bad and exams are coming up. I've also been working on side projects and doing things for friends of mine.

Last Saturday I woke up around 7AM to get to the courthouse down in the Loop so I could be my classmate's defendant in a mock trial for his Intro to Trial Advocacy class. After that ended around 1 and we got lunch, then I walked with him to SAIC's MFA art show, which was humongous. Then I went to a fundraiser theater production being held by Northwestern's med school, then went to a bar nearby with some friends after that, then went to another bar on Kinsey where several classmates were having a big birthday party, then went to the end of a pop country concert at a bar up at North and Clybourn, then ran into some LLM students I know and hung out with them until about six. I think I slept pretty late on Sunday, but I don't remember right now.

Monday, March 11, 2013

I Make Pun, Reddit Likes Pun

I'm not a big Reddit user at all. But for a little while I really liked a subreddit called Fifth World Problems because it gave me an opportunity to think of and post puns. It's not primarily meant for wordplay; it's supposed to be a forum for complaining about problems that don't make sense in a world with our known rules of physics.

Anyway, I made this pun and people liked it (screenshot was edited to fit on this blog):

Re-percussions, see? Heh heh.

That was by far my most popular pun on there, and it's rare for a post to get that many upvotes on such a small subreddit. I still have yet to get on the actual front page of Reddit though.

My two week spring break starts at the end of this week and I'm not going anywhere, so if you want to meet me for some reason, hit me up and we can get booze or something when I'm not at Horseshoe Casino down in Indiana trying to make money at the poker tables.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

You're Being An Idiot If You Think Joe Salazar Is Going To Be Our Todd Akin

Conservatives have a superficial understanding of bigotry and women's issues. This whole situation with Joe Salazar reminds me of a time when in third grade, I said somebody was a sexist, and a girl in my class told me she didn't like me anymore because I said "sex".

Republicans are latching onto something said by a Democratic state representative who was arguing for banning concealed carry on a college campus. They're making it out to be insensitive about rape, and anti-woman or something. They're trying to elevate it to the level of Todd Akin's scandal, which I became a minor part of. Here's what Salazar said:

"It's why we have call boxes. It's why we have safe zones. That's why we have the whistles, because you just don't know who you're going to be shooting at. And you don't know if you feel like you're going to be raped, or if you feel like someone's been following you around or if you feel like you're in trouble when you may actually not be, that you pop out that gun and you pop... pop a round at somebody."

Whether the feared crime is rape or murder, he wants fewer innocent black men like Trayvon Martin, and innocent people in general, getting shot by scared people with guns. You have to distort his comments a lot before you get something like pundits are claiming he said.

It's disheartening how little control he has over how people are interpreting and distorting his statement, even with the truth on his side. So now he's had to go into damage control mode in order to try to keep the non-scandal from being elevated even more, and to avoid being dumped by the Democratic Party.

Here's something conservative media and politicians don't seem to understand: Acknowledging that we live in a society where rape is a real, everyday fear for women and that walking around at night and passing by a man when nobody else is around is scary, is not bigotry.

Conservatives can't even begin to grasp these issues, so any time a non-minority says something that acknowledges how bigoted our society is, they immediately try to call him racist for it. They think the "race card" is a real thing that explains every call of racism from progressives, and that conservatives are just evening things out by playing the race card back against the Democrats.

When Joe Biden says something awkward that is essentially about how our racist country is only willing to accept a black candidate who fits their narrow criteria, Republicans immediately start saying "See?! He's racist too!! He called Obama clean and articulate!" They don't care what he actually meant. They have a superficial understanding of the idea that those words are inappropriate to use to describe black people, and they have no interest in going beyond that in the discussion of racism.

And finally, Salazar's just a state senator. In the past week I've read maybe eight stories about various conservative state senators who've said absurd things about abortion and other issues. Todd Akin was a U.S. congressman who was a major party's nominee for Senate. If we really gave a shit what state legislators said, all these stories about absurd bills being proposed by crazy Republican state legislators wouldn't just be small blips on politicalwire.com. Just today there was a story about a Republican introducing a bill that would make it a felony for a legislator to introduce any kind of gun control bill.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Norman Amaker Retreat

I just got back from Loyola Chicago Law School's Norman Amaker Public Interest Law and Social Justice Retreat upstate in Woodstock, IL. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed the speakers and made many friends. I wish I could make all of my classmates go because it's almost impossible to listen to these speakers talking about poor people, ethnic minorities, LGTBQ people, tenants, etc. being completely screwed in the United States without wanting to do something about it, or at least be angry.

And to my liberal friends who think they're above current events and domestic day-to-day politics because they only want to have fun philosophizing about "big picture" issues, I wish I could make them listen to Joel Rogers talk about how important state and local laws and government are for changing the country, and how conservatives, with their organization ALEC, have made excellent use of it to destroy the progressive movement in the United States. Here's one thing he wrote that overlaps with his presentation to us, about his new answer to ALEC called ALICE.

I would talk about how amazing Norman Amaker was, but that would take up several more paragraphs. To be brief, he was the only non-white person in his classes at Amherst University and Columbia Law, he worked closely with Martin Luther King, Jr. and smuggled out the famous letter he wrote from jail in Alabama, and he worked as an NAACP lawyer doing amazing things there, among other accomplishments. He died when he was 65 in 2000 and I wish I could have met him and talked to him. He also really should have a Wikipedia entry, geez.

Anyway, I'll have more interesting things up here soon, including the launch of my webcomic on a separate site.

Friday, February 1, 2013

I Did It, Fewer People Are Applying To Law School

People have finally started listening to me, and law school applications are down 38% from the attending-in-fall-2010 cycle. Fall 2010 was the hardest cycle there has ever been, and it was actually my cycle--my scholarship was deferred a year. I feel validated! This post is braggy, but it's my blog, it's not like it's Facebook. If I can't talk about difficult things that I've done on my own private blog, then I guess the only acceptable places to do it are on book jacket covers and news site bio pages.

This post is so smug that I actually drew this cartoon for it.

I was absurdly lucky to get a full scholarship at a T14 (Top 14, one of the many, many designations for various tiers of law schools that we legal people use because we're terrible and empty prestige whores) that year. I also graduated from college during one of the worst years to do that, in 2010. The Year of the Dragon got screwed.

I'm also very lucky to have grown up as a white male with an economically comfortable living situation. If I had been born under the circumstances of 80% of the world, or about half of America, I wouldn't be in such a fortunate position today. But there was also the Tourette's, which poisons every moment of my life. I lost a significant chunk of time while taking the LSAT, where the time limit is brutal, just to deal with my Tourette's. Anyway, the point is that I really don't have sympathy for other white males who were raised in middle class households who falsely complain about things being stacked against them. If you're finding it harder to get into a certain school than you would have in your father's generation because now people who aren't white men are being given a modest portion of the pie now, then stop complaining and just do a better job.

The smug Mallard Fillmore I drew up there is actually for the parody I'm working on though, mentioned in the post before this one.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Mallard Fillmore

My line work and inking technique is getting better, steadier. This cell phone picture version is bigger than the actual drawing, but I wanted to zoom in. 

I'm getting my ducks in order for a single strip parody I want to make of Mallard Fillmore by Bruce Tinsley called "Swan F. Kennedy by Goose Tinsley". I chose that name over several other options, like Andrew Quackson, Swan Quincy Adams, Quackery Taylor... There's more to my idea for this strip than just the name though, obviously.

The duck is saying "I'M GAY" because that's one of my most cathartic tics, from the Tourette's. 

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Preston Blair And His Amazing Animation Book

I recently got Preston Blair's seminal book on animation. John K, creator of Ren and Stimpy, swears by this book. Here's a post on his blog about how important this book was to him as a kid. So I bought it for myself and it's been pretty freaking useful.

However, while I do want to learn to animate, I mainly plan only to draw static cartoons. Blair's instructions about character construction are still extremely useful for this, but now I have to teach myself how to reconcile these techniques with my current drawing style, combining them to make characters that are specifically suited for what I want to accomplish with my cartoons.

Blair's techniques are meant for groups of animators to be able to reproduce characters from various angles with very little room for error. This means that the characters are fairly simple, and follow certain formulas that make them relatively easy to reproduce over and over again, at a fast pace.

That's why cartooning for animation and cartooning for comics are two different disciplines. They certainly overlap a lot, and people can switch between the two, but when you're drawing a static character, you don't need such simplicity.

Some of the features I like drawing most in my cartoons wouldn't work for animation, but I want to hold onto them. So now I have to absorb all the knowledge of this book, reading it multiple times and doing the practice drawings it prescribes until I have it all down. This is a big deal for me because I practice drawing pretty infrequently, and even on the days when I do practice, I don't do it for long. After I've done this, I'll make sure the book influences and improves my drawing technique without completely supplanting it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

More Editorial Cartoon Edits

That first cartoon actually isn't an edit. It's an original cartoon by two-time Pulitzer Prize winner Michael Ramirez. He's one of the worst cartoonists out there. His drawings of backgrounds and vehicles are solid, but his drawings of people are horrible. He doesn't know how to draw them. But he's also just one of the most infuriating cartoonists out there. He lies constantly, in ways that can easily be disproved. He paraphrases people's quotes in ways that completely change their statements, for example. He even spells people's names wrong, or assigns incorrect first names to them.

He's also absolutely obsessed with "DEBT". In cartoon after cartoon he draws some large object and labels it DEBT to the point where it's just a running gag now. He clearly thinks about it all the time. It's like he has Tourette syndrome (like I do) and writing that word on inappropriate things gives him some relief. The smoke from Pearl Harbor is DEBT? Does that mean that it will eventually dissolve into the sky and isn't worth worrying about? He never thinks these metaphors through.

He's too stupid to even write something that makes more sense for that cartoon like "A DEBT THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY."

Here's another amazing cartoon by him. Fuck you, Ramirez. He was even more egregious with his cartoons on the Benghazi consulate attack. He's a horrible person.

Anyway, here's my edit of his 9/11 cartoon, making fun of his DEBT fixation and the awful puns he tries to make:

And here's a parody I actually made, attempting to imitate his style, including the sometimes excessive crosshatching and his loopy handwriting. It ended up looking more like a Tom Toles cartoon. It also scanned very badly. I might try to scan and color it again. It looked better in person, I swear. The squiggliness of the line work is not an accident though, to be clear.

Here's the most recent cartoon by Tom Toles to compare, even though this wasn't supposed to be a Toles parody originally:

He tends to label things with big squiggly white letters like I did in that cartoon as well. His cartoons are very squiggly.

Finally, cartoonist Milt Priggee posted one of my edits on his blog. Though he didn't give me credit for it, which is kind of weird. I don't feel like bothering him about it though.

I don't want to post the original on this blog because of its content. Edit: Okay, here's the original. Not safe for work because of a giant offensive word.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Political Cartooning Lessons: How To Draw A Democrat

Step 1: Draw a horrible skull demon from Hell wearing a suit.

Step 2: Draw the rest of his head!

Calm down, the artist doesn't actually think Democrats are donkeys. That would be ridiculous! In the political cartooning world, they call this a "metaphor." 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Miss Iowa Doesn't Let Things That Are In Her Way Get In Her Way

This year's Miss Iowa, Mariah Cary, has Tourette Syndrome like I do. Milder than mine, but still, I'm sure it sucks. I don't have anything against her; good on her for doing something notable. And the worthless things she's saying are just what's expected of you when you're a beauty pageant contender, so that's fine too.

But an email I got from the Tourette Syndrome Association about her annoyed me.

One line particularly: "Diagnosed at eight, Mariah has never let TS get in her way." 

I don't get it when I read a stupid inspiring story about a successful person with Tourette Syndrome "not letting it get in his/her way." Tourette Syndrome is basically designed to get in the way, that's pretty much all it does. If it isn't getting in somebody's way, then I don't understand what it's doing to them.

The email also quotes her saying:

"I am living proof that there is nothing that can stop you from achieving your goals but yourself. Tourette Syndrome does not make you 'different.' Everyone is different and unique and that is what makes life interesting. I tell myself every day, I cannot change how God made me and I would never want to. Take what you are given and make the very best of it."

The first sentence isn't Tourette Syndromespecific. and is just standard bullshit that people need to stop saying to our kids so much. Do you understand how many narcissistic self-important monsters I have to deal with who are around my age because we are all told this as kids? Please, please stop.

The other sentences are similar to other things I've heard. No, you're wrong. Tourette's makes you different. Nothing isolates me more from the rest of humanity than Tourette's Syndrome does. I had to completely rewire my brain, getting rid of all knee-jerk reactions and instincts, just to be able to function at an inferior-but-passable level in society. I rarely encounter other people with Tourette's, and when I do, it's usually less severe or manifests itself very differently.

Unlike Miss Iowa, if I could get rid of Tourette's, I would with no hesitation. There's no pretending something is a blessing when it causes you pain and interrupts whatever you're doing every three seconds or so.

The last sentence in that quote is the only one I agree with. This is what we should be telling children with Tourette syndrome:

Tourette's sucks, so you need to work around it. It will get in your way, constantly, from the time it fully manifests in fifth grade to your final living moment, barring the discovery of a completely effective treatment. You can still be successful, but it will be harder than if you didn't have Tourette's. It's not something to be ashamed of, but it is a bad thing and your focus should be learning how to suppress and control it so that you can live a life that looks normal to others and is for the most part enjoyable.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Americans Can't Use Intrade Anymore And This Really Bums Me Out

I'm angry and sad. I really liked Intrade. I made a couple thousand in profit from Obama's victory. In retrospect, I should have taken out student loans and bet more like $10,000 on his winning. Because of my full scholarship and some money I've saved up and some money from dead and living relatives, I haven't taken out a dollar in loans yet, so I could have spared it. 

Unfortunately, I won't get another chance like that, unless I get a non-American friend to manage an account for me. But even then, I don't know how many options related to American elections the site will still have now that all American accounts are closed. The next Senate election in Massachusetts might have been fun to bet on.