Friday, May 20, 2011

How to Make a Thoughtful Birthday Card by Butchering Terrible Drug Store Cards

Greeting cards are horrible. They're so bad. But making your own card requires effort and creativity and if it doesn't turn out well you feel ashamed when you give it to somebody, even if it's just your least favorite aunt. Recently while trying to decide what to get somebody while at work, I bought as many greeting cards as I could afford and forced them into one huge card that may have actually convinced the recipient--a friend, not an aunt--that I care about her.

I probably don't know you so just pretend you're opening this right now:

It wouldn't fit in the envelope! So I had to cut it open at the seams and then re-tape it shut in a way that made the envelope slightly bigger.

After getting through all those envelopes and tacky animal covers and a boat, the middle is blank. Sucks for you. No just kidding, keep going.

All three of the pages after the center said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" and maybe a stupid message so I whited out everything except the necessary word on each page.

There's nothing special about the back except the staples.

So try that when you need to get a card quickly and everything at the store is making you feel horrible about the human condition.