Friday, April 29, 2011

Kate Middleton and Bellhop

Why is Kate Middleton flirting with that bellhop? And where is the prince?!

I hope people stop talking about the wedding after it's over. I'm guessing a marriage certificate isn't going to silence the "marriagers" though.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Intention of the Framers

From the Washington Post:

Said Farah of WorldNetDaily: “I think we should do due diligence there and examine it before we jump to conclusions that, because a government official handed something out, it is legit.”

He said that even if the document is real, it raises questions about Obama’s eligibility to be president. Farah contended that, because Obama’s father was from Africa, the president might have had “dual citizenship” and therefore might not meet the definition of a “natural-born” citizen, the eligibility requirement in the Constitution. He suggested that it is necessary to revisit the intentions of the Framers.

The intention of the framers is: "No negro presidents!" Also where are their credentials? Why are these framers so trusted? Half of their signatures are probably forged; I've seen no photographs of the event. Why does some rich, unqualified asshole from 200 years ago need to be pulled back from Hell to tell us what to do about net neutrality? Every CPAC or conservative rally I go to has at least one guy dressed up as a founding father/framer guy. I never see other people dressed up as their slaves hanging out there with them though for some reason.

And the dual citizenship argument is complete bullshit. Even if the birther idea were true, you can still be a natural-born US citizen even if you're born outside of the United States.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Present the Little Shoes

All right, they found the (particular form of) birth certificate, but where's the cement block with his little shoes on it? Even Alvin Greene could present that.

If Obama ever dies, even if it's 60 years from now, people will refuse to build a memorial until they see the death certificate.

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Monday, April 25, 2011

Litmus Test for Your Kids

Use this when your kid is about 12 to determine if he's worth the cost of private school or if you should just give up on him because he's a little shit:

A future liberal reads a headline about how CEOs make 400 times what their workers make and says something like, "Wow, nobody deserves to make 400 times a normal worker. He doesn't work 400 times as hard and he isn't 400 times as smart so that's pretty unjust."

A future conservative reads it and says, "Shit, I need to become a CEO."

If somebody says both, he's still a liberal because a real opponent of unrestrained capitalism understands how important money is in a capitalist society and how fucked non-rich people in the United States are compared to those in every other developed nation.

New update on Santorum 2012 and I'm pretty proud of this one so check it out. Might not be completely work safe though. Also good news: When you search for "Santorum 2012" on Google, my site shows up on the second page now. That's pretty good for about a month. Let's see how soon we can get it on the first page.

Sorry for the lack of updates, as if you care. I've been pretty busy moving and emptying and crushing and creating and filling and labeling boxes at my new science company.
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Thursday, April 7, 2011


I have a cold and because I have this thick, luxurious cough I figured I might as well buy some Newports and walk around the National Mall pretending to be a smoker and scaring all the tourist kids away from cigarettes with my nasty coughing. Man, these are minty.
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Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Historical Catalysts

Look what these kids have done. Really cool stuff.

"Benjamin Volta and Jerry Jackson are working with 20 students representing grades 5 – 8 at Grover Washington Jr. Middle School in North Philadelphia. We began our project researching the achievements and biographies of distinguished individuals listed on the Cultural Programs of the National Academy of the Sciences, African American History Program website. The (self) portraits we are creating from this research will function as elements on the periodic table. Similar to the way elements combine to form compounds, a final large artwork will bond together achievements in art and science. Our project is a catalyst for inspiring our students to experience the benefits of collaboration and to inspire them to pursue greatness."

I'm going to Skinny Tuesday at Gallaudet tonight. That's an arts and sciencey event. The guy who runs it sounds just like Phil Hartman so it should be worth it.


I really thought I had posted this photo before. Taken at the 2009 Clinton Global Initiative Annual Meeting.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Malvinas Day

I hope everybody has a somber, reflective Malvinas Day today remembering the 900 people killed. Also today's my 23rd birthday, but Malvinas Day takes preference.